Merry Christmas, everyone! How was the haul? Me, I cleaned up. Digital camera that by far replaces the one stolen in July, awesome Gama-Go postcard book, new watch, the Far Side 2007 page-a-day calendar… the works. Also, a buddy of mine came back from Japan bearing riches: a toy that I got to put together myself!

So I cracked it open, cackling with glee, and discovered… not one word of English. OK, OK, fine, that’s cool, there’s lots of diagrams…

Right. So there’s an armature that I have to assemble, and then there’s some wiring that gets strung taut along that, and then … Jesus Christ. Them Japanese must have freaky tiny fingers, or maybe this is a toy for like eight year-olds. Yeah, that seems more likely. Right, where are my tweezers?

What happens if I break one of those hair-thin wires? Oh no, no don’t think about it. DON’T THINK ABOUT IT. THINK ABOUT THE LOVELY DINOSAUR AT THE END. Steady… steady…

Is the sun going down? The sun’s actually going down. I can’t believe the sun’s going down. How long have I been at this? Never mind, let’s get out the dinosaur. And the wood glue. And some toothpicks. And some valium.

Finally done! Oh my God, it’s beautiful. I think I feel tears coming on. And it works, and it flaps! Look at it, the majestic king of the Cretaceous. Wait, were they even alive in the Cretaceous? Remind me to watch ‘Walking with Dinosaurs’ again.

You know, I have obssessions with many things (deep-sea creatures, the Third Reich, Walt Whitman) and affection for even more things (milk chocolate, tropical beetles, Saul Bellow, historical epidemiology), but I have real love in my heart for dinosaurs, and I don’t use that term lightly. I love all their little quirks and controversies - parental care versus abandonment, scavengers versus hunters, colour-vision versus colour-blindness, the fairly recent feather debate - and I love the idea that these brilliant, varied, bipedal creatures were tapdancing across our planet so many millions of years ago. I love that they almost had what it takes, failing so dramatically that they’ve become half-mythological to us now. Dah. I wish I were a rich mad scientist so I could devote all my time to cloning one. One of those speedy little egg-stealing ones would suit me right down to the ground.
Anyway, as for the toy, there’s also a robot that dances (anyway, I think it’s a robot) and there’s a sumo (?) that lifts weights, so when I get bored of Mr. Sexy there I can just unclip the wings and switch it. I assume a Japanese eight year-old would have been able to put that thing together in less than two hours, which is (let’s face it) a bit of a blow to the old ego, but my ego’s taken worse hits than that.

To my (half-dozen) readers, merry Christmas and a happy new year, thanks to everyone who sent holiday greetings, and I hope to see you before I head back to classes in January!

Under no circumstances should anyone run around on the huge parking-lot snow piles outside St. Albert Center, as they have been structurally weakened by the recent warm temperatures and it is quite possible to fall in, get trapped, and miss your bus.

This has been a Premee Public Service Announcement.

No time for blog post, must study for finals, here, enjoy this close-up picture that I took from front-row center when I went to see the Royal Lipizzaner Stallions show in Saskatoon last August, it’s true that some girls never outgrow My Little Pony toys, now back to the books.