If this year is ANYTHING LIKE LAST YEAR I will spend it ruthlessly and quietly disdaining the people who once thought I was worth a damn and ALIENATING friends who used to mean the WORLD TO ME and lying all the time WITH NO FIXED PURPOSE and thinking of people as objects, EVEN PEOPLE I LOVE, as if that meant anything anyway, and letting depression, THAT MAGNIFICENT BASTARD, get the upper hand of me and spend days at a time feeling intensely sick and sad and DISGUSTED AT MYSELF and shirking responsibility and dodging questions while gasping for air and clutching my chest and ALL OF THIS IN A NEW CITY.

HAPPY NEW YEAR